Sexcetera - Spring 2013

[Spencer’s note: No, I’m totally not posting in Fall 2014 a post that should have been made in Spring 2013. Of course not! Why would you think that?]

Like I mentioned in the last one of these, I write an opinion column in my school’s newspaper, The Pioneer, called “Sexcetera.” It’s a column on relationships, sex, and sexuality, from a perspective I’m trying to keep sex-positive, feminist, and inclusive. I’ve been doing it all year, but save for the last compendium, I haven’t really mentioned it here on the blog.

Here’s a directory of the things I wrote in my last semester of college (and the last semester of Sexcetera).


  1. No Half-Assing It With Multiple Partners” (2013/01/24) – Non-monogamy is a perfectly viable relationship option, but if you want to make it work, it will likely take some conviction and extra effort.
  2. ‘Consent Is Sexy’ Mantra Well-Meaning But Misguided” (2013/01/30) – Consent is vital. It’s crucial. It’s paramount. But I take issue with the way it’s often sold as something “sexy”.
  3. Uneven Libidos Require Cooperation to Resolve” (2013/02/14) – What do you do when your sex drive doesn’t match your partner’s?
  4. Kinky Sex Requires Caution, Skill” (2013/02/27) – The recent popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey has brought kink into the mainstream–but not in a very safe way.
  5. Ugly, Awkward Virgins Deserve Sympathy, Not Ridicule” (2013/04/01) – We shouldn’t be shaming the socially inept, unattractive losers who haven’t had sex like us normal people. We should be pitying them. (This was for the Pio’s annual “Jack issue”–check the date and the categories.)
  6. How to Make a Rapist” (2013/04/04) – In the wake of Steubenville, we need to examine how the socialization of boys creates men who rape.
  7. Defanging Jealousy Suggests Alternative Answers” (2013/04/18) – Jealousy is a vicious green-eyed monster, to be sure, but it becomes a lot easier to manage when you break it down into its component parts.
  8. Schools Shape Sexual Culture” (2013/05/02) – An open letter to Valerie Huber, executive director of the National Abstinence Education Association, regarding Chicago’s new comprehensive sex ed program.

Web Posts

  1. Sexcetera Quickies #1” (2013/01/20) – A few short responses to questions that wouldn’t work as longer columns.
  2. Footnote: Choosing Lube” (2013/01/30) – Some extra pointers on lube from my interview with Cynthia Fine.
  3. Keeping Condoms Snug and Sound” (2013/02/21) – Condoms keep slipping or breaking? Here are some pointers to keep yourself and your partner protected.
  4. IUDs Deserve a Second Chance” (2013/04/16) – IUDs have a bad rap in the United States, and while there was once a reason for that, today’s IUDs deserve a second chance.

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